Originally written in 2010, Kristen’s words and perspective continue to be an inspiration.
“The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and
the man became a living being.”
– Genesis 2:7
I love Christmas. I love the smell of Christmas trees, the sight of Christmas lights, and the sound of Christmas carols sung by my daughter’s choir. I love the taste of Christmas eggnog and the feel of Christmas wrapping paper as I pick up after my children finish tearing through their gifts. Most of all, I love when my family packs up and heads to the Florida town where my husband and I grew up. It is true, no white Christmas for us, but I don’t mind. We often spend our holiday in shorts, but we always share the holiday with all our children’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on both sides of our family. What fun we always have, and what beautiful memories are made.
This year, I didn’t think I would be blessed with another Christmas. A big part of me did not expect to survive an aggressive surgery I underwent in September. I was careful to prepare gifts and instructions for my husband, just in case it was not God’s plan for me to be here this Christmas. God gave me not only one miracle in the success of the surgery, but He also gave me another in that I will be spending this Christmas with my family.
It is natural to become angry when we are fighting a life-threatening illness, I think. We are young, we have children to raise, how can we even consider not being here to finish that job? And yet we have no choice. I have watched my husband and my children struggle through my illness, and it hurts my heart that I have brought that despair into their lives. This often makes me feel angry, but who will bear my anger? Like so much, Christ has stepped up to bear my ugly emotions. I think He understands, for when I fight and scream and cry, I feel Him holding me, comforting me – never pushing me away or chastizing me.
I have come to realize that instead of being angry that my time may be shorter than I had planned, perhaps I should try being thankful for the time I have been given. God has given me a beautiful family and incredible friends, and I must cherish every day with them. Every day with these people is a gift from God, and I am incredibly blessed. Each family I have met through Inheritance of Hope has blessed me profoundly, and those relationships have been made possible through God’s grace and generosity. Though I often forget, I have nothing to complain about. My Christmas wish will be granted the instant I wake up on December 25th.
I plan to enjoy this Christmas. I plan to thank God most sincerely for this holiday. I pray this Christmas will bless you and your family as richly.
