As life’s waves crashed in on our lives through ministry challenges, Covid, and then cancer all within a few months of each other–in many ways, I felt like life was the perfect storm. In every area of our lives, the storm winds were crashing and crashing hard. Life became a storm that I had never experienced before. In the wake of all that was happening at times, I questioned–where was God and why was this all happening?
It was in those raw moments–moments of hard questions, moments of doubting, and yet praying that today would be the day God would stop this raging storm in our lives–I found something I never expected.
I wish I could say the storm ended and everything went back to normal. Life however was never normal again. We continued to wear masks, we felt like prisoners in our home because of my husband Bryan’s cancer treatments, and I had to explain the unexplainable to my children–cancer seemed to be winning despite all that we were doing to fight it.
It was in these moments when we were literally, holding on to life–that I encountered the love of God in a way I never had. The storm winds were still crashing but in the middle of the storm, He calmed me. My calm looked very different than I expected and in ways I never saw until now when I look back.
In the middle of the storm, somehow God calmed me and gave me:
the strength to walk into yet another doctor’s visit
the courage to look into my husband’s eyes and say “we will get through this”
the wisdom to lead my children even when I felt I needed someone to lead me
the will to get up yet another day and to keep fighting
These may seem like minor things on a normal day but living with a terminal illness is not a normal day. In the middle of the storm, there is no way to explain them besides God calmed me and gave me strength, courage, wisdom, and the will to take another step that I could never have done on my own.
Elisabeth Elliott is quoted as saying, “Do the next thing.”
In many ways when facing a crisis, this is the simple truth that helps us through the next moment.
In the doubting, in the questioning–ask God to calm the storm within. He is faithful. He is able. It may look very different than you expect or pray for, but you will find it if you seek it.
Amy Graves and her family were impacted by Inheritance of Hope and now give back by serving families like their own.
