Ellie Ledin (00:01.048)
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Inheritance of Hope podcast. Today we have a guest who’s gonna share all about her story, just walking her unique journey and how Inheritance of Hope plays into that, as well as a lot of other good details that I’m really excited to go into. So introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself.
Beth Esh (00:26.499)
Hi, my name is Beth Esh I’m a wife and homeschool mom. My husband, Peter, and I have been married for 13 years and we have three kids. Our oldest is Hazel, she’s 10. Our son, Alan, is seven and our youngest, Anna, is five. And my husband and I are originally from Southern California, but we’ve lived in the Houston area for about 11 years now.
Ellie Ledin (00:49.582)
So definitely staying in the warmer climates it sounds like California then Texas.
Beth Esh (00:55.171)
Warmer and more humid, yes.
Ellie Ledin (00:58.828)
Yeah. Yes. well, I’m so glad to have you on today and hear a little bit more about your story. This is our first time meeting as well. So all of this information is going to be new to me as well. But I would love to hear what your journey has been and like how illness has played a part in your family’s life.
Beth Esh (01:23.107)
Sure. Well, interestingly, I’ve been done with treatments and considered cancer-free since last summer, so almost a year. And just a few weeks ago, I found out my original diagnosis was different than I’ve believed it to be for the last two years. So I had to change oncologists because mine that got me through all my treatments left the practice. And with my new oncologist, we were talking and he said, well, this is what you can expect.
Ellie Ledin (01:39.18)
What?
Beth Esh (01:52.086)
with stage four and I was like, no, I was stage three. And he said, no, this note right here from your original diagnosis says you were stage four A colorectal cancer. So I was good. My husband and I were both shocked and I thought maybe I never heard it, but my husband also said like, no, no one ever said four. So this side of things, I think I.
Ellie Ledin (02:09.965)
Wow.
Beth Esh (02:12.483)
It made me take a step back, but maybe I accepted it a little more now that I’m in the cancer free side of things for now. But I’m going back to my original diagnosis. So in July of 2023, I had some minor symptoms that I was just like, something’s off, but I’m not too worried about it. So I went to my primary care. She wasn’t too worried about it. But then after a couple of weeks, nothing changed. She said, well, we’ll send you to.
GI specialist and so I went there and they also didn’t really seem too worried but they said well we’ll just send you for a colonoscopy just precautionary.
And so I thought, I’m 36. I don’t really need a colonoscopy, but okay, I’ll follow the doctor’s orders. And the colonoscopy department at the time had a wait list until like three months. So I called to make an appointment and they said, we actually have a cancellation next week. And I wasn’t sure I was really ready for that, but I thought, well, I better just take it. And I think that was the first step in my journey where I can see God’s hand was totally at play because I’m not sure I would have been.
Ellie Ledin (03:05.271)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (03:22.945)
doing so well if I had to wait three months. So that colonoscopy revealed a tumor in my rectum that was seven centimeters. And from there, everything just fast forward. So I woke up from the colonoscopy, they told me they found a mass and said, we’re gonna refer you right away to a surgeon.
Ellie Ledin (03:25.293)
Mm.
Beth Esh (03:40.684)
I think it was like the next day I got a call from the next office saying, okay, we’re going to schedule you for an MRI and a CT scan and all the things. And when I had my colonoscopy, they did send a biopsy away. So they came back and immediately said it’s cancer.
Ellie Ledin (03:53.901)
Thank
Beth Esh (03:56.452)
And it just rocked my world. And I was like, I’m 36. have a, my youngest is three. I, this isn’t part of the plan. So from there, we just met with all the different doctors. So the surgeon initially seemed pretty optimistic and said, yeah, you know, this is, we can take care of this. It’s a stage three. And then she referred us to an oncologist and he said, well, this is, you know, it’s.
It’s in the localized area, but it’s more than just one tumor. There’s some tumor deposits and lymph node involvement. So he said, it’s a serious three. And he referred us to the radiation oncologist and she said, this is a three plus. You need to start chemo immediately.
Ellie Ledin (04:29.581)
Thank
Beth Esh (04:38.025)
And so she kind of sent us back to, we did some more imaging to make sure, but she sent us back to oncology and then we started chemo the first week of September. And I was on chemo the rest of 2023 from September to December. And that was pretty intense for having like had mild symptoms that I wasn’t worried about to going on full-blown chemotherapy. And then my body didn’t respond to it well. I was like, man, I, felt a lot better before.
Ellie Ledin (05:03.189)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (05:07.979)
I was getting treated. One of the medications that I was on, it turned out that I was, I didn’t have the proper liver enzyme to digest it. And so it stayed in my body longer and really caused a lot of problems, just side effect problems and so much severe pain. So we had to modify that, but that was a big thing that I think other people going through cancer and going through chemo treatment, like make sure you’re aware and talk to your doctors about what side effects and what you’re having.
Cause when I started to describe them, they’re like, no, this isn’t normal, but it wasn’t immediately a weight, the symptom or the side effect wasn’t like, yeah, we know what this is right away. And only one other patient of my oncologist in his entire time of practice had had this lack of liver enzyme that couldn’t process. So that was hard. and so from, like I said, the rest of that fall into winter, I was on chemo. Then just before Christmas, I finished chemotherapy.
Ellie Ledin (05:41.229)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (05:56.557)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (06:07.685)
and was able to enjoy celebrating Christmas with my family. And then right after Christmas went into radiation treatment with oral chemotherapy. And that, you know, different side effects, different situation. You feel better for a while, then things change. It was kind of interesting just getting to know people as you go through radiation and you sit in the waiting room and you are there every single day. So you get to know your doctors or your radiation techs on a whole different level.
And it’s funny when we finished, it was like, they were so excited that I was done, but you almost feel like you’re losing a friend because you see them every day for three months. Um, so that took me into February and then I got a few months off and then I had surgery in April. So in April, they did a lower anterior resection surgery and ileostomy placement and hysterectomy all at once. So was over a seven hour surgery process. Um, and they removed all the cancerous.
Ellie Ledin (06:37.866)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (06:44.395)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (07:03.347)
my goodness.
Beth Esh (07:07.657)
stuff and parts they could. And there was, when they sent that off to biopsy, it was still active cancer in some of the lymph nodes and the tumor had shrunk a lot. was less than two centimeters from the seven it had started at. So the chemotherapy and the radiation were effective, but not complete response. So after that, they said there could still be cancer floating around in your system, running through your blood. So I went back on chemotherapy for three more months for the summer of
2024 and then they were able to reverse my ileostomy after that in the fall of 2024. So from that point on now it’s been just keeping up with.
Beth Esh (07:51.512)
They call it surveillance. So they just, every three months staying on surveillance to do tests and scans and blood work to make sure everything’s going as it should and staying healthy. And then just also just adjusting to the new normal of how my body functions now post cancer, but not just post cancer, but post treatment of all the things that I’ve experienced.
Ellie Ledin (07:53.032)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (08:10.712)
Mm-hmm.
Wow. my goodness, what was it like for you to wake up, you know, after your colonoscopy and be told you have a mass, we found something, and to hear like the big C word, like cancer, what were some of those initial reactions that you had?
Beth Esh (08:29.555)
Yes, it was.
I went into it thinking this is so into the colonoscopy thing and this is so silly. They’re going to come out and say, there’s nothing wrong with you. Why are you here? You know, I typically, if I’ve had other health things, I had had some respiratory things in the year past and did some testing. like, you don’t have asthma. You don’t have anything. Just, you know, you may be some allergies. You’re fine. So I kind of expected that and coming out of the colonoscopy, I had never been any under any anesthesia before.
Ellie Ledin (09:09.868)
Right.
Ellie Ledin (09:15.192)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (09:22.775)
went by and then they called me and then when they called me the doctor said, are you sitting down? I thought.
Ellie Ledin (09:29.898)
no.
Beth Esh (09:30.52)
Do people really say that? Okay. so I was home with my kids. I had just put my youngest down for a nap and I thought, okay, let me just, let me sit down. Okay. And then they said, yes, it is adenocarcinoma and I’m not a medical science person. I’m like, I know that is cancer, but I don’t understand anything of what that means. And the doctor who called me was, not an oncologist. He was the one who had assisted in the colonoscopy. So he just kind of gave me a brief information and said they’d refer.
So it was a lot to take in in not prepared way, just on the phone call. My husband was at work, I was home with my kids and then where do you go from there? And I thought, how do I call my husband and tell him, I just got this phone call. Can you come home from work? And kind of, I don’t know if it’s funny. Looking back now, I can say in a funny way, he had actually already seen the test results on like the online chart. And so he was aware. And as soon as I called him,
Ellie Ledin (10:05.804)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (10:17.752)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (10:30.373)
He was already on the way coming home. So we were able to process through that together and it was hard. It was really hard. But we have a really strong grounding in our faith in God and just completely trust him with our lives and know that nothing happens without his hand. And everything happens for a reason. So we had recently been studying the book of Job and just talked about, it’s not about why do we suffer, but when we suffer, how can we glorify God through it and what is God trying to
Ellie Ledin (10:52.526)
Mm.
Beth Esh (11:00.313)
teach us. And so while there was a lot of questioning and fear, we also were able to stand on the solid foundation of God and say, okay, we can face this with his strength.
Ellie Ledin (11:13.038)
What an appropriate book of the Bible to be reading through at that time. I mean…
Beth Esh (11:18.975)
Yes, it was, I think a few months or within the last 12 months before my diagnosis that we had been going through that. So God was preparing our hearts even then.
Ellie Ledin (11:24.014)
Yeah, mm-hmm. Right, when you read through the book of Job and you’re in a nice happy season of your life, you’re like, ooh, that sounds terrible. But when you’re in the thick of it and you’re reading it, there’s just something that feels like, okay, this sucks and what he’s going through sucks and I kind of resonate with what this is saying and it’s so hard, but there’s just something.
Beth Esh (11:39.107)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (11:53.043)
so nice about seeing suffering portrayed in the Bible and knowing like, okay, there is that this is part of the story of the human experience and just kind of learning what does it look like to suffer alongside one another and like with God and seeing like how he’s there in it all.
Beth Esh (11:57.591)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (12:04.098)
Yep.
Beth Esh (12:14.029)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (12:38.05)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did you, as you were contemplating, like, your story and this rapid change of what you thought your life was gonna turn out to be versus what reality was, like, were there any specific parts of Job where you’re like, see myself in that. That kind of sounds like my story.
Beth Esh (12:59.956)
not me specifically in the book of Job, but just that reminder. I was so glad to have studied it because it would be so much easier to just fall into a woe is me.
place. And so just realizing God still got me in his hand and I can, I can use this, even the opportunity to like speak on the podcast today. Like if I didn’t go through cancer, I wouldn’t be here telling my story. And I’ve had the opportunity to share my testimony of how faithful God has been through every moment of my life, not just cancer, but because of cancer, I’ve gotten more platforms to share about who God is.
Ellie Ledin (13:39.311)
Yeah, I love that. And like on this platform, I know that there’s gonna be people who…
have either gone through a diagnosis or had, you know, gotten kind of scary test results or maybe not, but they know someone who is. So I’d love if you could share like what, how has your journey with illness affected your sense of identity and how are some, how has this journey of like cancer and all the cancer treatment shifted some things about like how you showed up and how you view yourself?
Beth Esh (14:15.531)
Yes, I think it’s been really interesting to realize it when you’re faced with your own mortality and this might
you might not have much time left, what truly matters. And is it, am I important or is what God has in store for me important and what I’m doing with my time and energy? Is it for my own fulfillment, my own joy or my own happiness? Or is it for joy in the Lord and what I can do for his kingdom? And so I think, While I grew up a Christian and I’ve always had…
the mindset to follow Christ and to be discipling others and be discipled and grow and to have a kingdom mindset. Like what am I doing for the Lord, not just for myself? I think going through cancer brings your priorities back, kind of narrows them down to realize what really is important, what really matters, that relationships, the legacy that you leave for your family. I think it’s easy to…
get frustrated with things in life with young kids. There’s so much going on with homeschooling. There’s so much going on. And then realizing like, no, this is not a hindrance to me. This is my opportunity and my joy to be their mom and to teach them and help them learn and grow. So I think in my.
Ellie Ledin (15:22.414)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (15:36.012)
And who I am as a mom, definitely brought me back down to God’s plan and in motherhood and in marriage and to glorify him through those relationships as well. And then it also opened me up to seeing other people. I think when you hear other people go through suffering, you’re kind like, I feel sorry for them and I’ll pray for them, but you don’t really get it. And you pray for them once or twice, or when you say I’ll pray for you right here in the spot, but you don’t think about it much beyond.
that, but now having experienced it, when you hear about other people going through trials and suffering, you can really relate and understand where they are, what they’re going through, and actually be more consistent in reaching out to them and praying for them on a regular basis.
Ellie Ledin (16:22.926)
Right, yeah, because you know what was helpful for you in that time. So you know automatically how to show up for other people. Like, I’m not even gonna, you know, ask, what do you need? I’m gonna just show up with some food and we don’t even have to talk.
Beth Esh (16:28.685)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (16:39.874)
but you don’t have to cook a meal tonight or something. But something you said was so, so good. I want to go back to it. And it’s something we talk a lot about at Inheritance of Hope, of like, a lot of people view trials or suffering as something to like get past or to be on the other side of. And like you said earlier, there’s not any promise that it’s going to be a happy, rosy life. Like we are promised that there are going to be
Beth Esh (16:40.461)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (16:59.523)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (17:09.858)
things that we face that are difficult. And so how do we integrate and show up as bad things are happening and not to have the mindset of like I’m being attacked and just bury my head in the sand. Like how do I show up? You know, like you, how do you show up day after day homeschooling your kids and being a mom and being a wife and like all these things and showing up fully integrated?
Beth Esh (17:18.892)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (17:27.479)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (17:38.122)
trials and suffering included and that’s so hard.
Beth Esh (17:39.842)
Yeah. Yes. I think it’s really setting realistic expectations, especially I think we, when we’re feeling good, we have, we probably outdo what we can really do and we’re like, I didn’t accomplish everything on my to-do list. then when you’re sick.
You have more realistic expectations, like I can’t do all of this, but I’ll do what I can. And then you make the most of those moments that you have. And then being willing to accept help is a big part of it too. When you want to say, like people offer to help and you’re like, no, it’s okay. I got this. And then you realize, no, I can use help. It’s okay to accept help. I don’t have to do this on my own. Thank goodness for the community that we have that is willing to show up and be there, fill in the gaps when we can’t make it
Ellie Ledin (18:24.494)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (18:26.531)
them.
Ellie Ledin (18:27.522)
Yeah. Yeah, I.
Talk to someone she has glioblastoma and it’s actually the first episode that’s posted from our podcast, Janae. And I remember her talking about like, she used to view herself as this highly competent person. Like her whole family, they were like, we are competent, we know how to do things. And then when she had glioblastoma and like having to navigate, what does it look like when my sense of identity used to be centered around everything I can do and how
Beth Esh (18:58.615)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (19:00.206)
can show it for other people to now I’m someone that other people need to show up for because I can’t do it on my own and she just talked about like how humbling that was but I think that’s just kind of yeah community and the Christian walk is one time you’re gonna be the person who needs help the next time it’s someone else and it’s really hard when we have to like kind of deflate our ego and our independence but
Beth Esh (19:15.744)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (19:22.499)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (19:27.969)
I’m so glad I listened. really enjoyed listening to her episode and just hearing her story and what she learned through it and how she handled it and about her family and all of that. And I think what really what you’re saying, Ellie brings us back to whether we have cancer or not, we can’t do this life on our own and we.
In cancer, you’re faced with, this could be the end of my life, and where am I going after this, right? And as a believer in God and a faithful God, I believe and have every hope that I will be in heaven when my time on earth is done. And so the connection between cancer and I can’t do this on my own.
Ellie Ledin (20:12.952)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (20:32.12)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (20:37.797)
that we’re not perfect, we’re sinners, but we have a loving, faithful God that wants to accept us back as his children. And so it’s such a beautiful picture. It’s so fun to see the side of things, though it’s so hard to go through our trials, but to see what we can learn and the connections to who God is and his great love for us through all aspects.
Ellie Ledin (20:45.518)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (20:59.924)
Mm. Yeah. Right, like recognizing it’s so hard and that it’s also okay, like holding the tension that…
Beth Esh (21:09.271)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (21:10.114)
this is just part of my story and it’s not the whole of my story. I think you just had a great summary of the gospel essentially of like, yeah, we are broken, imperfect people with a lot of gaps that need to be filled and we cannot do it on our own. And so, especially I think when you are faced with something that makes it very obvious that you are incomplete, almost like gives you, don’t know, this might feel insensitive
Beth Esh (21:34.711)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (21:40.181)
but like almost gives you an advantage of like the perspective that a lot of people numb themselves to their whole lives and so it’s cancer is a terrible thing and it is also an opportunity to point out some really valuable truths that most people are asleep to their whole lives.
Beth Esh (21:47.66)
Yep.
Beth Esh (21:59.17)
Yes.
Yeah, that’s one of the things that I’ve tried to say to people as I’ve shared my story is don’t wait for a terminal diagnosis to value the relationships and the time that you have. Like we just get so wrapped up in all the things we need to do, the lists we have to complete, the activities we gotta make sure our kids are in, but really boil it down to what our priorities are and don’t wait till you’re running out of time to make time.
Ellie Ledin (22:28.3)
Hmm. Yeah, that’s beautiful. We say that a lot with legacy videos is I mean anybody can everyone should make a legacy video and yet
Beth Esh (22:34.797)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (22:41.046)
We have so many people who hear about it and are like, that’s nice. I’m not ready for it yet. And it’s like, I totally get that. There are so many factors that feel intimidating about it. But if you don’t do it now, like you don’t know if you’re going to get another opportunity when you feel ready. You don’t know if you’re going to get that chance. And so I do think it’s really beautiful how people faced with a diagnosis make these legacy videos because they know like legacy building is so important.
Beth Esh (23:00.195)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (23:10.96)
And yeah, people just think that they have the abundant resource of time when we don’t know if that is something we get.
Beth Esh (23:19.789)
Yep.
Ellie Ledin (23:23.798)
So in the midst of all of this, I know you have this great outlook and your faith is so important to you. also with that, like, was there anything that you wish was different about your journey? Like anything that you wrestle with that maybe has some like resentment or disappointment wrapped up in it?
Beth Esh (23:52.759)
That is a tough question.
Beth Esh (23:58.286)
think it’s easy to feel like, I should have done a lot of things different. Like maybe if I had.
known about this medicine or that medicine, or maybe, I think you always question like, why did I get this? How did I get this cancer? What caused it? How can I undo that? But a lot of those things that you wish are different are outside of your control. I think I didn’t fully know about inheritance of hope. So that could have been something that had I embraced more early on. think we could have gotten more out of it earlier in our journey. But I’ve seen how God has worked that through and we.
Ellie Ledin (24:10.862)
Mm.
Beth Esh (24:34.085)
we got to experience inheritance of hope right when God had planned for us. So I’m not sure there’s a specific way that I, specific thing that I would say I regret or would change.
Ellie Ledin (24:44.77)
Hmm. Sure. Yeah, how did you initially hear about inheritance of hope?
Beth Esh (24:51.213)
So early on in my diagnosis, my sister works in palliative care, or one of my sisters does, works in palliative care, and she recommended, there’s this organization that helps families that have a parent facing a terminal illness, you should apply. And I don’t know if it was because we had our stage three diagnosis, if we were.
deceiving ourselves that it wasn’t as serious or not. My husband both said, I don’t know that that’s for us. I don’t know that we’re really, it’s not really terminal. And so we kind of weren’t sure and we briefly looked it up and.
thought, know, they decide if, you know, inheritance of hope decides if we’re eligible to go on this trip. So we, when we looked it up, we just saw the legacy retreats. We didn’t really dig into it anymore. I will say when I was sick and even now I’m careful to go search for stuff on the internet because especially when you have cancer and you start searching this side effect or this medicine and you start seeing and hearing what could happen, it gets more and more scary. So I didn’t dig into a whole lot on the internet. So I just.
Ellie Ledin (25:55.438)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (25:59.244)
applied for the legacy retreat and said, okay, God, that’s in your hands. Like if we qualify, that’s great. And if not, that’s fine too. And so that’s kind of all we did. We applied for the legacy retreat and then waited and continued with treatment and everything. We were really wrapped up in the treatment was every two weeks, but at the time that I applied.
the side effects were so hard in the in-between. So we were just surviving day to day. And so then we heard back that we got accepted to inheritance of hope to go on a legacy retreat, which sounded exciting, but I was so sick. We couldn’t do anything there. And the legacy retreets aren’t every week, right? So we waited for one to come around and we started connecting with our navigator with inheritance of hope, who would tell us, Hey, there’s a retreat coming. Do you think you could make it? And we had to pass up the retreat more than once.
Ellie Ledin (26:23.534)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (26:51.429)
just with treatment, surgery, recovery, health issues and everything. And so she mentioned to us the hope at home weekends, but we were kind of bogged down in treatment and homeschool and everything. And so we thought, well, we’ll go on a retreat soon and.
weird, so we didn’t go into the Hope at Home weekend. And then there was one day that my navigator tried to call me and I wasn’t able to answer. And then a little bit later, she called me again and she said, I was just trying to get ahold of you because I had someone here with me that I thought you’d want to talk to. And I thought, who in the world could she have with her? And she was with my sister, not the one who’s the palliative care nurse, but one who’s a school teacher. So I applied for inheritance of Hope back in 2023.
Ellie Ledin (27:25.932)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (27:36.534)
This was now well into 2024 and my other sister got a new job at a Christian school. So my navigator, Cheryl, while she’s an inheritance of hope volunteer, she’s also an elementary school teacher. And so she and my sister started working at the same school and Cheryl was telling about inheritance of hope in the staff meeting and how she was reaching out to a family in Texas about getting onto a retreat. And my sister said, oh.
Ellie Ledin (27:55.778)
Thanks.
Beth Esh (28:04.739)
My sister is fighting cancer in Texas and you can imagine we were all really shocked when that was me, one in the same. And so it was crazy little connections that God made through that. So then I was able to meet Cheryl in December of 2024. We hadn’t gone on a, on a legacy retreat yet, but I got to meet her cause she was teaching with my sister. And then.
Ellie Ledin (28:12.353)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (28:27.085)
Bye.
Beth Esh (28:31.797)
I was with her. we finally got to go to California after my whole year of treatment and everything. We were able to travel again just to visit family because all of our family’s back in California. And then that week was the week Renee Johnson was out here in Houston, trying to get stuff set up for Hope Hub Houston. And so she contacted me because she knew I lived in the area. And I said, well, I can’t make it to this meeting because I’m in California, but I’ll be back soon. And so then that’s when I got to meet Renee and we got together just after they had.
Ellie Ledin (28:41.965)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (29:01.701)
had kind of that meeting to try to get Hope Hub Houston up and running. And then I met Renee and I met Jill and got connected with them. And that was in January of 25. And then we got to go on our Lakers legacy retreat in March of 2025. went to Orlando and that was such a beautiful, um, culmination of all of it, just seeing God make little connections here and there with inheritance of hope and how my story had panned out. And we actually were already.
Ellie Ledin (29:02.957)
Mm.
Beth Esh (29:31.634)
considered in remission and so I wasn’t sure like should we even you know go on this trip at this point but Cheryl assured me like you’re not the first person that you know you get sick you can’t go on the retreat and you’re in remission things come up and then you can and you know how the schedule works and how families are able to go on these retreats.
Ellie Ledin (29:35.949)
you
Beth Esh (29:53.654)
This is not abnormal and it’s okay and you can still learn from it. And I was so surprised getting on the retreat saying like, you know, we’re, okay. We’re in remission. But at this point, my kids were 10, seven and five and had been through two years of going through all this with us. And I was really surprised how much pent up emotion we all had to process on the retreat, even though we were kind of on this side of things. And then how much we got to learn and the resources.
Ellie Ledin (30:18.189)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (30:23.757)
from inheritance of hope that are gonna be a lifelong blessing. And if this cancer comes back, we have that much more in our toolkit to face it. And that much more impact we can have with other families that we interact with that are going through similar things. And it was also really fun meeting all these families. I have never been able to connect with people so instantly than you do on these legacy retreats. When you meet other families that know and understand what you’re going
Ellie Ledin (30:50.029)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (30:53.547)
through and are going through a similar thing, you just, it’s an instant camaraderie that you couldn’t even imagine. And then the volunteers are so sweet. Again, you meet these people and you’re together for just over 48 hours and they’re like instant family and you can’t imagine not knowing them or having never met them in your life, just how much love and care they provide. So that was really, really special.
Ellie Ledin (31:08.917)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (31:17.089)
Hmm.
Wow, what a crazy story that your navigator works at the same place as your sister and a different sister that initially told you about inheritance of hope. And crazy just to like see the timeline because it’s just kind of like the saying of like what’s meant for you will not miss you and knowing like, okay.
Beth Esh (31:30.601)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (31:42.591)
the Lord’s timing is beautiful and perfect. And so it’s not like, okay, you didn’t get to go on that first retreat, your chance is over, that was it. Like there’s just been a slow building up of, you know, this timeline. And it maybe took a little longer than initially expected, but just kind of seeing all those God nods along the way of just, or God winks, you know, of how…
Beth Esh (32:05.879)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (32:10.378)
the story just continues. So that’s so sweet. Since the retreat, how have you kind of still stayed in touch with some of the people you’ve met on the retreat or just the inheritance of hope community in general?
Beth Esh (32:29.443)
I’ve kept in touch. We had a kind of group text string from our small group on our legacy retreat where we’ve heard from other families and how they’re doing. Unfortunately, we have lost some of those.
diagnosed parents already since March, actually a few of them really quick after the retreat. And then in touch with people on Facebook, our kids met kids that we didn’t even meet the parents because there was a bigger group at this legacy retreat. So our small group of the parents we were in and the kids that some of our kids interacted with, didn’t meet as much so we’ve connected over Facebook. And then I’ve stayed, our kids made cards for our volunteers, just such happy memories of the weekend.
that we spent at inheritance of hope. And so having them just send little cards to our volunteers like, Hey, we had so much fun and thank you and we miss you. and then continued to be in touch with Renee, doing some fundraising for inheritance of hope with how much it’s meant to us and being able to pass that on and share with others. And then also, hopefully getting involved with the Hope Hub Houston coming up soon. my oldest Hazel is 10 and she’s actually all of my kids say we want to go back
Ellie Ledin (33:37.217)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (33:42.442)
to inheritance of hope all the time. like, well, we can’t go back on another legacy retreat. Like we were served, but we could go volunteer. So I’ll be curious to see how that pans out in our lives as they get older. And I could definitely see volunteer opportunities in the future.
Ellie Ledin (33:44.201)
Hahaha
Ellie Ledin (33:51.457)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (34:00.116)
Yeah, well and with the Hope Hub coming soon, I just think that’s a beautiful way to keep going with the connections because like you said, the retreat is this hugely intimate, kind of fast-paced bonding experience and then you all have to kind of go back to your normal lives where the connections, you know, you have probably great
Beth Esh (34:14.21)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (34:23.048)
networks of people and support systems, but connecting with people who are like, that’s also my story. And they know, like you said at the beginning, like when you walk through suffering, you just gain so much empathy for others who are also going through it. And so to have that one weekend of connection is great, but then you kind of are left wanting more. so Hope Hub is a great way to keep that going. So I hope that is able to
Beth Esh (34:25.994)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (34:31.725)
Yep.
Beth Esh (34:47.885)
definitely.
Ellie Ledin (34:52.972)
be launched very, soon for your family. Tell us more about the fundraising that you did with Renee.
Beth Esh (34:55.392)
Yes, us too.
Beth Esh (35:04.269)
Well, I’m part of a philanthropic group through my husband’s company. It’s an oil and gas company down in Houston. And so there’s a group of women that are associated with the company, their employees or spouses of employees. And so each year we try to raise money for a charity of our choice. And so I nominated inheritance of hope, and then it goes to a vote. So there were eight different charities that were in the vote and we strive to have about a hundred women giving a hundred dollars each year to the charity.
So we can combine all of that and then the company actually matches whatever we give. And so I just nominated inheritance of hope and I didn’t even really give a whole lot of my personal story. Just nominated it for what inheritance the great organization inheritance of hope is all on its own. And it won the vote. And so we are just super excited. And then with that, when we do kind of our get together to reveal who won the vote, I was able to speak there.
Ellie Ledin (35:54.763)
Wow.
Beth Esh (36:04.069)
and Renee came into town to accept the fundraising donation. And so we got to enjoy celebrating that together.
Ellie Ledin (36:13.165)
That’s incredible. I love that you’re the group of women in your area does that for any organization. Obviously I’m biased towards inheritance of hope so I love that that was nominated but just so cool to see.
Beth Esh (36:24.866)
Yeah.
Ellie Ledin (36:31.057)
so many people coming together in a small way, you know, like just each doing a little bit something, but together collectively, it’s a huge impact because, you know, inheritance of hope is all donor based, like, and all of our resources are offered at no cost to families. And so we rely so heavily on things like that, either monthly donations, one time gifts, but obviously like big fundraising.
Beth Esh (36:35.511)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (36:47.245)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (37:01.051)
like that goes a long way. So thank you for doing that and what a cool impact story that you were able to share your experience.
Beth Esh (37:11.681)
I’ll say you’re welcome, but it wasn’t just for me. Again, it’s another way that I just see God so much at work. Like I couldn’t have forced these people to make this vote, but he had a plan to allow that to be inheritance of hope to be chosen and then my opportunity to share more.
about him through that process. And I’ll just make a plug that it’s really easy to donate to inheritance of hope and have company match. whoever listens to this out there that can make donations, that’s a good way to do it.
Ellie Ledin (37:41.633)
Yeah.
Well, and like you were saying earlier, like cancer gave you platforms that you would probably maybe never have had before. And so to get up and share with all of these people, who knows who in their networks will need inheritance of hope one time. So obviously the fundraising is huge and like not to be understated, but also just now all these people know about this organization so that if someone is in a similar situation as your family, they know, you know how you said,
Beth Esh (37:58.478)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (38:05.89)
Yep.
Ellie Ledin (38:12.545)
like maybe some regret of like not knowing about inheritance of hope sooner. Now they might get to know as soon as they need it, it’s available.
Beth Esh (38:16.909)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (38:21.783)
Definitely.
Ellie Ledin (38:23.607)
Well, and one thing that really stands out to me about that story is that I know I fall into this, but I think we all kind of feel so fragmented. okay, this is where I go to church. And then over here, this is where my kids go to school. And over here, like we don’t really always connect the dots. and so hearing you had this amazing experience with inheritance of hope, and then connecting the dots to this other organization that you’re part of.
that does philanthropic work is really cool and I think a very, I think it’s a missed opportunity for a lot of people because we all have networks where like, my church does a legacy building event every year and I never thought to include inheritance of hope in it or bring it up.
What would you want people to know or like put on their radar to maybe start connecting the dots of like, if you are a part of this other organization or part of this church, like how would you, what would you tell them to like start integrating those circles more?
Beth Esh (39:43.117)
probably wouldn’t have strep like…
Beth Esh (39:47.748)
Before facing cancer and all this, if someone said, Hey, would you stand up and speak in front of this fundraising event? Would you go on this podcast? I would have been like, what? I would have to really think about it and say, I don’t know. But through this process, I just see God placing these opportunities before me and really making the connections. Like now you have this, now you can connect to these things. You don’t have to operate.
Ellie Ledin (39:56.119)
You
Ellie Ledin (40:12.599)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (40:13.091)
family in one bucket, church in one school, career, all that, but that it’s all related and sharing about different aspects of your life in all areas is so beneficial just to see the connections that are made.
and how it’s all part of God’s perfect plan. So I don’t know what would really inspire people to make those connections. I just feel like God has completely led me to do it outside of my own direction.
Ellie Ledin (40:33.997)
Mm.
Ellie Ledin (40:40.993)
Hmm. Yeah. Well, as you were saying that, just thought of, you know, how she, is it Cheryl who was your navigator?
Beth Esh (40:48.683)
Yeah, Cheryl Eaton.
Ellie Ledin (40:50.079)
Yeah, so Cheryl being compelled to talk about inheritance of hope at her job led her to this amazing connection with your sister and now you you guys are all buddies and I don’t know it just makes me think like it is worthwhile to kind of connect different areas of our lives and I think what you shared about this fundraising event is a great
Beth Esh (40:56.076)
Yeah.
Beth Esh (41:02.221)
Yep.
Beth Esh (41:10.168)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (41:16.041)
inspirational story and so I hope people listening will just kind of think through different opportunities because like you said, Renee flew out and was able to like accept this and share about inheritance of hope and so I guess just a plug like we are able to go and meet you or like speak at your church or speak at your organization so
Beth Esh (41:36.621)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (41:37.429)
We love sharing about it because there are just so many people impacted by a terminal diagnosis and we want everyone to know about inheritance of hope. yeah. All right. Let me see what other questions I have.
Beth Esh (41:49.763)
Definitely. We do too.
Ellie Ledin (42:01.132)
because we still have a little bit of time. I have one question that we always wrap up with. But okay, I’ll ask this one. Is there anything else you were hoping that I asked you or that you would want to share now that you have the microphone and you have this platform? Anything you’d want other people to know?
Beth Esh (42:25.761)
I think a big thing that I had having mom, being a mom of small kids facing a diagnosis like this, one of the really great pieces of advice that I received early on.
was be transparent with your kids, tell them the truth, tell them what’s going on in a way that they can understand, but don’t keep secrets. Because if they don’t feel like, if you start at one place that they don’t think they can trust you, they’re gonna try to go find information elsewhere and they could get misinformation. And so just trying to be honest with them early on and we saw that a little bit on our inheritance of hope retreat with some of the families. They said, we really haven’t told our kids exactly what
what’s going on. Like they know mom is sick, but we haven’t said how sick or, you know, different things. And so I think just being.
Creating a relationship of trust with our kids at an early age whether we’re sick or not is so key and important But then especially when you’re facing an illness like this to just let them know what’s going on We found a book at the local library that was called cancer hates kisses and it was a children’s Illustrated book about a mom facing cancer and it portrays her as a superhero and she wears her cape and it You know, it shows what chemotherapy is like what radiation is like she loses her hair
Ellie Ledin (43:22.956)
Mm.
Ellie Ledin (43:34.315)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (43:48.054)
She has surgery and has to recover, but it says like through all of it, the best way to fight cancer is to give your mom lots of kisses because cancer doesn’t like kisses. So it, you know, it will flee kind of, and it’s silly and it’s not, you know, it’s not the reality of cancer, but it got the point across and it started a conversation. And so we got this book and we sat down together, my husband and I read it to them. And at the time, eight, five and three, you know, my five and three year old didn’t really understand.
Ellie Ledin (43:55.915)
Mm.
Beth Esh (44:18.037)
but my seven-year-old or eight-year-old grasped what was going on and had lots of questions and it created a place where we could talk to her and talk to them and then they have this little picture of what a radiation machine looks like even though they might not understand what it is then we could kind of go back to that we could check it out from the library again.
Ellie Ledin (44:31.927)
Hmm.
Ellie Ledin (44:41.417)
Hmm, I love that I
I’m a certified child life specialist, so part of my job was working in hospitals before working at Inheritance of Hope. And we would always tell parents, like, obviously in a developmentally appropriate way, you don’t have to drop all of these huge names and concepts on kids, but they’re so, so receptive. Like, they know something is going on, and unless you help them figure out what is happening, their brains are gonna come to conclusions that are probably not
Beth Esh (44:52.429)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (44:59.456)
Right.
Ellie Ledin (45:14.939)
accurate and kids are very egotistical in the sense of like their world revolves around them. So a lot of times like they would think, it’s my fault, mom has cancer because I said something mean to her. And like as an adult you’re like that’s silly like but their brains are so like they’re wired to think as like I did something so this happened in the external world.
Beth Esh (45:16.163)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (45:32.194)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (45:44.211)
Mm-hmm. Or to think it’s contagious or something like that. And they would have a fear of being near you or different things.
Ellie Ledin (45:44.659)
And so being upfront, yes.
Ellie Ledin (45:53.941)
Yeah, which I’ve heard about that book before and I love the concept where it’s like it’s not contagious. Love on mom, like give her all the kisses. That’s so special and helps.
Beth Esh (46:04.003)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (46:06.88)
communicate information in a silly way, like you said, but in a way that’s really beneficial for kids who are just wondering like, what is going on? Things have changed. So like tell them why things changed and what is happening and that’s amazing.
Beth Esh (46:22.231)
Yep. I can see how that aspect of the inheritance of Hope legacy retreats and.
just the way that the inheritance of hope volunteers relate to the kids. Having the volunteers that just give them so much attention because when your parent is ill, they get a lot of, we don’t want the attention, but we get a lot of the attention. And so the kids kind of lose out on some of that in a way, but I think it’s good for them and their maturity and growth to understand the world doesn’t revolve around them. But then they get this attention at inheritance of hope, but then they get this attention that is guiding them to process their feelings.
Ellie Ledin (46:37.216)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (46:42.86)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (46:59.557)
and just the tools that they use in the children’s groups to help them identify emotions and thoughts on what’s happening has all been really, was a really cool aspect to see the tools used there for them too. That this retreat is for the family as a whole. It’s not just for the diagnosed parent. And then I will say with that, also the connection for the caregiver parent is amazing because it’s a whole different journey for that person, but it’s really hard on their side of things too.
Ellie Ledin (47:13.004)
Mm.
Ellie Ledin (47:23.446)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (47:29.557)
for them to relate to other caregivers was really a key also.
Ellie Ledin (47:32.248)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, just because I feel like with any illness or something like as big as cancer, it’s isolating for every member of the family where you kind of wonder like, is this normal? Am I the only one experiencing this or I just feel so alone in this? And so, yeah, like you said, inheritance of hope has something for every member of the family. So even look at our online support groups. It’s a weekly hope at home groups and we have ones for kids.
Beth Esh (47:57.293)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (48:04.623)
teens, diagnosed parents, caregiver, spouse, and then also just ones for people who like…
aren’t in the family system with that, but they love people who are, they just want to help. And so even that breakdown of like the kids can go to the kids group and they get to play and they get to process emotions and they get to meet other people like, yeah, my mom is sick too. It’s just so beneficial and healing. So I’m so glad you brought that up. Yeah.
Beth Esh (48:15.405)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (48:33.005)
Mm-hmm.
Ellie Ledin (48:37.579)
Well, great advice. I feel like anyone listening, tuck that away. That is gold. Be upfront with your kids and navigate that. We also have a lot of resources on our website. If you click around, we have stuff for like, how do you talk to your kids about hard things and navigating illness?
So I’ll leave it at that and I’ll end with a question that we ask everyone is whose legacy has impacted you whether in their life, their death, you kind of still carry a bit of them around with you.
Beth Esh (49:14.103)
Yes.
I think I would be remiss not to mention that we have had such a tremendous amount of support and care and love from our family, our friends, our church family, our neighbors, that there have been so many people that have impacted our family over the last two years, caring for us, bringing us meals, loving on our kids, just being present and prayerful. And so the list would be endless. But as I think more in terms of legacy and those that have gone
Ellie Ledin (49:40.717)
Mm.
Beth Esh (49:44.896)
before and in cancer, my sweet friend, Ms. Linda comes to mind, Ms. Linda Murray. She was the children’s program ministry coordinator at our church for many years. And she was in her eighties and all of us young moms at church would say, when we grow up, we want to be like Ms. Linda because she’s just so precious and just cared for the children, but the families as a whole and just showed the love of Christ and everything that she did.
Ellie Ledin (50:04.074)
No.
Beth Esh (50:15.029)
And so she was diagnosed with cancer after I was, and she actually already passed away almost a year ago. And she was so dedicated to just showing the love of Jesus to kids, including going to summer camp in Texas, humidity on more than one occasion with a bunch of elementary school kids. And she would just tell them like, it’s not about me, it’s about God. And she wanted them to know who Jesus was and to make an impact in their lives. And she has, and so her legacy, I mean,
Ellie Ledin (50:30.016)
haha
Beth Esh (50:44.709)
We still obviously chat about her all the time. What would Ms. Linda have said about this? And do remember when she did this and how she prayed for you about this and how excited she was, like with my eldest daughter when she accepted Christ as her savior. she just was, Ms. Linda was brought to tears with excitement of what God is doing in the lives of children and families. And so, I know I hold onto her legacy as well as others and just
Ellie Ledin (50:50.637)
Hmm.
Beth Esh (51:14.661)
Her legacy will live on with many families cuz she’s served and loved on children from babies as they continue to grow and I know they’ll remember her as they go on in life too.
Ellie Ledin (51:26.125)
How sweet. I feel like a lot of churches have that one pillar of faith. Someone who is there for generations or just impacts so many people.
And it even sounds like, you’re living out her legacy, like even in how you care for your family and still show up for your kids and homeschooling them and how you mentioned like your identity has just shifted as your perspective has just kind of expanded as a mother, as a wife and how you’re showing up to the different circles. So I love that her.
Beth Esh (51:59.278)
Mm-hmm.
Beth Esh (52:04.451)
Even to see how she lived her life after she was diagnosed with cancer and it went pretty quick, but she was still like when she could be there, then she was there. She couldn’t go to summer camp with the kids last summer, but she showed up to church even though she was so weak to send them off.
And even I was able to visit her in her final days and I went to see her laying in her bed and instead of telling me how she was feeling, she said, I’m praying for you. I’m praying for your family. And just seeing that her focus was always on others and on Christ and not on herself, just in a really sweet way.
Ellie Ledin (52:47.863)
That’s so sweet. And I feel like even as you were describing her, I feel like it was a description of you, like how I’ve just gotten to know you over the last hour. It was short, but I feel like that’s a perfect description of who you are as well.
Beth Esh (53:04.225)
That’s an honor. Thank you.
Ellie Ledin (53:06.079)
Yes, well, Beth, it was so nice to chat with you. And like I said, it was short, but I hope that people listening will just be really inspired by your story and just know that, yeah, how important your faith is to you and how important like the Lord is in getting us through things that are really difficult and he is worth trusting in and he is faithful. So thank you for all of that.
Beth Esh (53:33.422)
Yes, you’re welcome.
