The Inheritance of Hope Podcast

There’s no perfect way to tell your child that a parent is going to die. But your child doesn’t need perfect. They need you, present and honest, even when you don’t have all the words.

This week, Erin VanDorsten joins the podcast. Erin is a child life specialist and the Children and Families Program Lead at The Gathering Place, a free cancer support community in Cleveland, Ohio.

You’ll learn how a child’s understanding of death shifts as they grow, and why it makes sense to have one ongoing conversation that unfolds over time rather than one single talk. Erin walks through three things to hold onto when everything feels uncertain: staying in contact, keeping routines, and leaning on support, for both you and your child.

Imagine the image of a “puddle jumper.” That’s how Erin describes how kids process emotional information. They dip into grief hard and fast, then quickly step out to ask about dinner or soccer practice. That’s not avoidance. That’s how children cope.

If you’re trying to figure out how to prepare your child emotionally before your death, or a loved one’s, this conversation offers real, grounded language to help you begin.

https://touchedbycancer.org/
Click here for family, kids and teens programs: https://touchedbycancer.org/helping-families-at-tgp
Check out our Other Helpful Resources page for more support: https://www2.inheritanceofhope.org/OtherHelpfulOrganizationsPodcast

00:00 — Why Excluding Kids From Grief Conversations Can Backfire 01:14 — Meet Erin VanDorsten: Child Life Specialist at The Gathering Place
05:06 — Why Peer Connection Helps Kids Cope With Grief
06:57 — How Kids Understand Death at Different Ages
09:59 — Why Kids Need Presence, Not Perfection
14:41 — Maintain Contact, Routines, and Support: A Framework for Uncertain Times
16:17 — Modeling Emotional Regulation for Kids During Grief 18:53 — How to Support a Child’s Grief After a Parent Dies
21:49 — Encouragement for Parents Afraid Their Kids Won’t Recover