Lauren Nguy and her husband Brian had their life all figured out, they were married, lived together, and just started their family. However, right afterwards, a shocking terminal diagnosis began ravaging Brian’s body, eventually leaving Lauren widowed and heartbroken. But the story doesn’t end here. Lauren has since begun rebuilding her life again, refusing to let being widowed define her.
Lauren Nguy met her husband Brian Nguy at church while attending a few Bible study groups together. Lauren remembered that the people around them took notice and tried to set them up on a few dates by saying “Oh, it’s a group thing…And it was not a group thing. It was a clear double date.”
While at first apprehensive of dating one another, they began dating in July of 2014 and then got married in 2016. A few years later, they would have children together. “He was definitely my best friend and we were such a good team.”
She considers herself fortunate for being so close to her father’s treatment facility because she almost attended the University of Florida, a college a few hours away from her family’s home where most of her relatives before her went. Nicole wasn’t accepted into the college but went to the University of South Florida because it was next on her list.
Trouble in Paradise: An Unexpected Terminal Diagnosis
However, tragedy struck the family a few years later when Lauren took Brian to the hospital after he had a really bad cough for a few months. It was in the middle of a really bad snowstorm during a COVID-19 pandemic so hospitals were not allowing many people in. People were even being stitched up in the hallways because of how crowded it was. So, Brian had to endure his appointment alone where he would receive life-changing news that he had “a mass in one of his lungs and his lung collapsed because there was just so much fluid around it.”
After Lauren heard the news over the phone, she couldn’t breathe for a minute and cried while talking to her father during work.
The hospital then reached back out and told the family that Brian would need to pack a bag for an overnight stay. Brian thought he only needed his phone and wallet but Lauren had a hunch he might be there a while and drove back to the hospital with another bag.
When she arrived, a nurse looked at her and said, “We’re just going to take you back. Just sit there with him. We want you to be with him.” Which made Lauren panic even more than before as she thought to herself, “Okay, this is a bigger deal than I anticipated this being. I thought he had pneumonia that just gotten away from him and he maybe needed some antibiotics.”
10 days later, Brian returned with a stage four lung cancer diagnosis and the family “went through this grief process of what does this mean?” Lauren stated. They watched movies to get their minds off of news and looked online for what the typical life expectancy was for this illness. Online resources said that it was 3 months to 6 months, only worrying them more. Brian was wondering if “he would see another birthday and the girls’ birthdays and see them graduate and walk them down the aisle and if we’d have another anniversary.”
He would ultimately live 18 months while receiving chemo, before passing away in October 2023. “It has been heartbreaking…when I got married to him, I was like, ‘Yeah, this is the man I’m going to spend my life with. I’m going to grow old with him and we’re going to have a family.’” The couple also had a bucket list of things they wanted to do together once the kids left the house that was now no longer an option with Brian gone.
But what hurt her the most was that her children never really got to spend time with him. “All they know is their daddy having cancer and being in hospice.” Lauren added, heartbroken.
Lauren’s Life After Loss
During the grieving process, Lauren felt lonely. On top of the depression and anxiety she was already feeling after Brian’s passing, she also had to look around and see that “for the most part, everybody’s married. Everybody has their families. They have their health. And you just feel alone. You feel like your world is caving in and nobody can relate.”
Though briefly involved with Inheritance of Hope while Brian was in the hospital, Lauren became more involved after Brian’s passing to deal with her loneliness. She made friends with other widows in Hope Hub™, an Inheritance of Hope support group, where she could talk to others about what she was going through. Even when they weren’t talking to one another, they would “send each other hearts back like I see you, praying for you. Sometimes, that’s enough.”
The children’s meetings for Hope Hub™ have also helped her kids come to terms with missing their dad as well as has eased some of the emotional load off of Lauren herself, who was still dealing with her own grief. “It’s really exhausting, but it’s also an honor to be the one that can be there for them and just remind them that their dad did love them.”
Lauren has also begun to rethink parts her life while participating in Hope Hub™, recognizing that as “women and as moms and wives, it kind of feels like the beginning of the rest of your life and when that’s taken from you, you can easily feel like “Oh, well, I guess my path’s over.” And she urges people not to let the loss of their spouse define them so they can also start rebuilding their lives.
Hear more of Lauren’s story on the Inheritance of Hope Podcast. Listen now >>
Kennedy Owens a Storytelling Intern at Inheritance of Hope. She is currently a sophomore at Florida Southern College with a major in advertising and public relations, and is an active participant on her school campus as the Event Coordinator for the Young Adults Self Advocates club and Brand Manager for the school’s radio station The Hiss. She enjoys all things writing-related and likes to serve her community the best she can.