Sheryl Sandberg recently shared movingly about what she has learned about motherhood through grief. But how do we help someone who is grieving?
We don’t know what to say. So, too often, we say nothing. Or worse, avoid.
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Each year, Inheritance of Hope awards a well-deserving college-bound senior with the Legacy Scholarship. These scholarship recipients all share one thing in common: they all have a parent with a life-threatening illness.
Mike Barrett and his wife, Catherine, have generously funded the Legacy Scholarship for the past several years. Mike met IoH founders Deric and Kristen Milligan by chance when Deric and Mike were both studying in Australia. At that time IoH was in its early stages, but the business plan appealed to Mike.
“I knew, from my own personal experience, that it addressed an unmet need--that of finding a positive and life-affirming way for easing the pain associated with the impending loss of a loved one.”
Here, Mike describes why their gift has been a positive and life-affirming choice for his family.
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Is a life-threatening illness, a major life change, or just plain old age forcing you to face your own mortality? Is your eventual death looming like a dark cloud over your life? Are you sure of what will happen when you die? How are you dealing with your questions about death? Fear? Dread? Denial? Keeping busy?
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Kristen Milligan "With Open Hands" at 2011 NYC IOH Retreat
With Open Hands: Part 1
A few years ago I was in a book study with a few people who read the book “With Open Hands” by Henri Nouwen. I was a new mom at the time with my first son about 15 months old. He was at that “separation anxiety” stage where he clung to me every time the threat of me leaving him arose. When I started the book it was a confusing time for me with this baby boy of mine needing me so much on a daily basis, yet I was learning about having “open hands”. This normal developmental stage of course eventually passed, but while we were “in it” life was a day to day trial and error experiment of how much to let go & how much to let him cling to me.
I’m sure some of you relate to this idea of attempting to strike a balance between learning to let go & keeping loved ones close. It’s not an easy task, that I think I will struggle with possibly for my entire life, especially in regards to my little ones.
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