Dear loved ones,

 

As I write this I admit feeling a little sad. Sad because my greatest earthly desire was to grow old with Deric … 17 years of marriage was not nearly long enough. Sad because it is a mother’s job to be there to comfort her child when that child experiences her first broken heart, or when he sits on the bench during a much-anticipated game. Sad because my heart hurts to think I will not be there to share in my children’s joys and inevitable accomplishments, their weddings, or for the births of their own children. Sad to leave my mom and my sister with yet another loss after the premature death of my dad. Despite the sadness this illness has brought, when I consider my life I quickly realize that God has blessed me abundantly … how can I feel anything except overwhelming thankfulness?

 

Picking strawberries was the last thing I felt like doing after a busy week as a counselor at teen camp.  But they glistened in the sun and let me know that the birds and bunnies would gladly take my place if I didn’t.  I groaned at the thought of how many there were and how long it would take.  A gentle prodding from our Lord reminded me that it was, after all, my idea to plant them and my enjoyment to eat them.

Is a life-threatening illness, a major life change, or just plain old age forcing you to face your own mortality? Is your eventual death looming like a dark cloud over your life? Are you sure of what will happen when you die? How are you dealing with your questions about death? Fear? Dread? Denial? Keeping busy?