I didn’t know Holley Kitchen but I visualize her face when I hear her name. She has cute blonde hair and expressive eyes. When I first searched online for metastatic breast cancer in 2016, her powerful video was one of the first advocacy pieces that I saw. I cried at the computer when I watched and then I called my husband to sit beside me so we could watch it together. I handed him a Kleenex. Like Holley, I was a young mother that will be fighting cancer until my journey on earth is over.  

Holley Kitchen used her voice for good

At Inheritance of Hope (IoH), we talk a lot about legacy.  We know firsthand that when faced with a life-threatening illness, nothing can be controlled, except for how we want to be remembered.  On the fourth annual Kendra Scott “Holley Day,” Holley Kitchen’s sisters share that today, she is still remembered as a spunky and fun-loving “momma bear” who loved her children with deep intent and purpose.  

Jake Anderson can’t describe his wife Becky without mentioning her smile, “You don't have to say anything else--you could just see her smile.”  That smile was a window into how Becky lived with her metastatic breast cancer diagnosis amidst raising three young children.  

According to Jake, Becky was always hopeful, and while he can't pinpoint exactly how she maintained her hope and faith, he does have a name for it, “I think if you knew her, well, there was a grace about her.  She would put everyone else at ease,” he says. “It felt like everything was ok because she was ok. She made it easy for everybody and always looked on the bright side--right from the beginning. I think the word for her is grace,” he pauses, “and then, there was the smile.” 

Becky’s bright smile showed her love for life

Two weeks before Kendra Scott’s company-wide event, Ally Dee knew Holley Day was “something big.”  As a Kendra Scott sales associate, Ally especially enjoyed meeting guests and welcoming nonprofits that benefit from the jewelry designer’s generous philanthropy.  Holley Day would prove to be even more than she expected.

Ally remembers, “The energy that day was different. Kendra Scott stores have a lot of events, but we all knew this was special.  I always liked talking to the people who came in from different organizations and learning about what they do, so I started talking to the Inheritance of Hope rep, not really thinking it was going to be this big. I’m glad I did!” 

Luke Milligan, the middle child and only son of IoH Co-Founders Kristen and Deric Milligan, knows how much his mom loved him.  Kristen made sure her presence and love would be felt through gifts, videos, and letters long after her premature death forced her to leave him at a formidable age.

The gifts that I have received from my Mom following her death have been of immeasurable value, but no more so than the ones I received from her while she was alive. The true value of her gifts have come from the knowledge that she was considering me and my future years before I was. The intentionality that she displayed as a mother is something I intend to replicate, whether or not I am diagnosed with a terminal cancer.

October 26th marks the seventh anniversary of when Inheritance of Hope Co-Founder Kristen Milligan passed away.  In those seven years, her children have reached milestone birthdays, high school rites of passage, started driving, and two have gone off to college.  Through changes and achievements, growing pains and successes, they have never felt far from their mother’s love, all because of the notes, gifts, videos and more that Kristen prepared while living with a terminal illness.

There’s something irreplaceable about intentionality, no matter how small the gesture. I, for one, would prefer a thoughtful, handwritten note over a lavish gift of my own choosing. However, it can be very difficult to find the time and energy to go out of your way emotionally. But, because I believe in the value of intentionality, I’ve found a few fun things to do that make it feel like less of an endeavor and more of a creative activity. The list is quite standard, but I have added a personal twist to make it a little more fun. As a huge bonus, the recipient of your gift will recognize the extra effort put into their gift, and feel all the more loved as a result!