Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

James 5:16

I recently received discouraging scan results.  The cancerous tumors that had been growing in my chest had converged together, creating a softball-sized mass.  More discouraging still was the news that the tumor was surrounding important vessels to both the heart and the lungs, as well as the esophagus.  Despite the existence of many smaller tumors, the doctors felt this tumor had to be addressed urgently, and I therefore began my first experience with radiation.  I had ten “fractions,” or doses, of radiation treatment over ten consecutive days.  I had been warned that the radiation was a high dose and may cause a sore throat and a cough, but by the end of the ten days I found I felt just a little tired.  No problem!  Unfortunately, I was not at all prepared for the symptoms that hit me like a Mack Truck a few days after finishing the treatment.  The pain in my chest felt as though I had had surgery, only without the scar.  I was unable to eat much due to the pain from swallowing, and breathing was also difficult.  I struggled with the pain and various other symptoms for only a week or so, but it felt like so much longer.

When I am in great pain, I struggle the most, but not for the reasons one might think.  I can handle the pain, not because I am strong, for I certainly am not, but because I serve a loving, gracious, and powerful God who shares His strength and His comfort with me.  He gets me through the pain.  But the effects of this pain on me and my family are astounding.  As I prepare for the possibility that God may call me home early, I want nothing more than for my children to remember me loving them always and unconditionally.  Never have I felt truly angry with them.  In fact, they have been my hope and my joy and my strength as I have fought this cancer.  But when I am in pain my patience is drastically reduced, and I am quick to snap at my children and my husband.  I hate that.  I hate that so much.  I also find that when I am in pain I experience a darkness that I do not experience when I am well.  I feel vulnerable to attack by forces that wish to separate me from my God.  I know spiritual warfare is a topic that makes many people uncomfortable, but I have experienced darkness during my struggles that cannot be explained any other way.  I have also experienced a lifting of that darkness through prayer - my own prayers and the prayers of my faithful prayer warriors.  The heavens have been stormed on my behalf more than once, and these prayers have lifted me from darkness to the peace that passes understanding.  I share this with you because I want you also to experience that peace instead of that darkness.  I want to encourage you to pray through your pain and to encourage others to pray for you as well.  There is even a prayer forum here at Inheritance of Hope where you can request prayer or pray for others.  There is great power in prayer!  God wants us to use that power, and we will be so greatly blessed when we do.